Most people will do more to avoid pain then they will to gain pleasure.
Not all, but most. I’ll give you an example of this because it’s something most of us do, perhaps unconsciously and yet it can really hold us back from the things that we want in life so it’s worth visiting and taking a closer look at.
Ok, so for example, when I was doing Tarot Readings a client was telling me about a relationship that she was in, that really wasn’t going well for her at all. Her partner wasn’t really connecting with her or putting the effort into their relationship, she felt as though she was doing all the work and all the compromise just to keep things going. Even though she wasn’t happy and she could feel herself becoming more and more miserable and feeling resentful towards him…. She stayed!
Well, the reason she stayed with him was because she was frightened that she was going to be left on her own. She believed that if she didn’t stay with him even though in her heart of hearts she knew the relationship wasn’t going anywhere that she would end up on her own.
So, in order to avoid the pain (being on her own) she spent her time and energy trying to fix things between them and make things right to avoid it. By focusing on avoiding pain, she ended up depleting her energy resources and became even more miserable.
We had a chat about it and she agreed that what she really wanted was a committed relationship with someone that really cared about her and she could see that by staying in the relationship that was no good for her and avoiding what she thought was pain by being on her own, she was in fact creating even more pain by not allowing herself to meet someone who could be perfect for her.
What she decided to do instead was to end the relationship with the guy that just wasn’t being present for her, and focus all of her energies into meeting new people and going in the direction of what she actually wanted. She basically re-set her dial to focus on pleasure instead of pain. This made her happier and more hopeful, she felt more energised and less drained. Win/win.
So, over to you, which areas of your life are you putting energy into avoiding the things you don’t want instead of putting energy into going forwards towards the things you do want?
Don’t worry most of us do this from time to time, the trick is to catch it, and have the awareness so that we can change it! With practice it will come second nature and the things you do want will start materialising much quicker in your life as you start to put more energy into them.
Where focus goes, energy flows!
Till next time...